Earth Crisis

[steven s.]

I skipped all the lame bands,opting instead to repine to my friendly neighborhood Barnes and Nobles for a quick break in the evenings hardcore ( the thou set from earlier in the night was quite excellent). Who should i bump into in the Andrew Monteverde "homeless people poop in these chairs" section, but the most hardcore 38 year old in the world, Mr. Karl Buechnar. While i had settled down with a selection from the sports section ( chuck liddell's new auto biography, which i am ashamed to admit being seen with), the tolkien-esque frontman for earth crisis was sporting a book about recent uprisings in Chechnya. So i was outmatched right from the start.
We talked about my black eye, and earth crisis, and then i left him alone so he could improve himself and went to the actual location of the show which was none other than the high ground, the armpit of fat city and the official home of all tattooed teenagers ever. Some skinhead in an agnostic front shirt took me to task for my Templars shirt, telling me that as a live band, they were boring. Whatever, sir. Whatever. I mean, it seems like if you're a skinhead you have to like agnostic front no matter what, just because a bunch of other idiot skinheads liked them for two seconds in the eighties. I can't think of a less relevant band than agnostic front at this point.
Then, we heard the earth crisis intro music starting up. Highlights: Karl dedicating a song to Bryan, even though he looked "ivy league." During Forced march, i hardcore danced even though i promised myself i wouldn't, because i'm twenty eight. I looked over, and the evasion kid was beating on the PA, even during the song from slither- awesome.
More highlights to follow....

[steven s.]

other highlights...
This isn't really a specific thing, but when did hardcore dancing become so aesthetically unsatisfying? Was it always stupid looking, or was there a magical period in the mid-nineties where even the recalcitrant ryan funch's highly idiosyncratic version thereof could find some purchase in the heart of the onlooker? I don't know. i just know that everyone there who did it looked stupid to me. Especially the goofy looking bleach blonde hair shirtless man. Oh, and me. I managed to break my pair of glasses that even the minivan that hit me a few days ago couldn't. go idiot power. But any way, more show highlights.
I guess another highlight was the traditional hurting of the tiny girl by the enraged-old-guy-reliving-his youth during the gang singalong. This was managed i think during the one where everyone sings I AM... STRAIGHTEDGE!!!! a bajillion times. Hurting a small girl at a hardcore show, apologizing profusely, feeling bad for a few seconds, then going right back to yelling the words at the singer, hoping for a piece of that microphone... always a classic.
That's pretty much everything i remember. I can't wait till april, or whenever, so i can go relive my youth again when converge plays. Till then, Steven s. is signing off.

[dantigravity]

Was it always stupid looking

Yep.

[steven s.]

I knew that would draw you out of the woodwork, oh dantigravity. I bet that i could find a certain alter ego of yours who might disagree, however. His name is Dandignation, and his interests include picking up change, "the pizzamaker," and sunday afternoon bro-downs at the faubourg center circa 1996.
That's right, dan. This hardcore dancing thing can pretty much be laid at your feet. You were the role model, the one we looked up to most. I'll never forget at those faubourg shows how you would signal the oncoming breakdown by raising your fist in the air and roaring so loud it filled the room. "Dance, motherfuckers," you bellowed, and we all leapt to respond. You created us, dan. Don't turn your back on your children.

[Ryan Funch]

I saw the Templars play in a bar two blocks from my house in Oakland. They were amazing. That skinhead you talked to (like all of them?) was a fool. There were about 5 serious fist fights within the first few songs. They played New York City and all the other hits. It was amazing.

On the other hand, Converge at Cypress a year or so ago was a complete let down. I had always imagined a Converge show to be the most violent spectacle I would ever see--no dancing, just people freaking out and going berserk--throwing chairs, punching themselves in the genitals, multiple stabbings. It was so tame though. I think I was probably the most violent person at the show, and I'm a full grown, collegiate man.

Another let down--Salt Lake City. No vegan straightedge gangs roaming the streets, beating anyone who didn't share their views. No cop cars and starbucks on fire. No nothing. Just meatheads at a show. It would be if all the Cypress kids went vegan and straightedge and got a little bigger and older.

Highlights from Earth Crisis:
- Not paying $20 for the show, so I can feed a bunch of shitbags I don't care about.
- Being blamed for Peter Young trying to get a bunch of people into the show with his pass. I remain the undisputed puppetmaster of New Orleans hardcore. (Where are you now, Mat Beckerman? You're not returning my emails about putting out the Indignation discography. It wasn't you who created hardcore in New Orleans. It was ME. I did it. IN THE FUTURE.)
- Breaking the iron wrought fence at the front of the stage under the weight of the "Gomorrah's Season Ends' pile-on. Avoiding getting impaled on said fence. Pulling the fence out, so no one else would get hurt on it, and subsequently cutting a dudes brow open with it and having him bleed all over me.

Where were Jeff Gerhart and Steve Mudge? Kim Fricke? X As They Wept X? Spineless poseurs all.

[roemerdog]

Especially the goofy looking bleach blonde hair shirtless man.
http://www.frenchquarterfiction.com/

[steven s.]

Get out of here!!! Is that really the same guy?

[dantigravity]

You created us, dan. Don't turn your back on your children.

I want a DNA test.

[Derek]

During Forced march, i hardcore danced even though i promised myself i wouldn't, because i'm twenty eight.

You danced last night? And I missed it?! The living, hardcore-dancing legend danced for EXC and I missed it?!

[Ryan Funch]

Oh, and that 13-year-old-girl who ran up and knew the lyrics to "New Ethic" or whatever song it was, I can't remember. Jesus. That is amazing.

[1234567]

I'm sure most of you probably don't care, but did anyone happen to see Shai Hulud's set?

I wasn't down with paying 20 bucks for a show. I ended up going to the Dragon's Den to see Thou, who were only charging people $15 to get in.

[Steven Brien]

Im suprised there was no one there to ruin the show. Thats good news I guess.

you know, I'd feel a lot better if one of you would say that the show was a huge disappointment. I debated flying down just for a day

Man this is super depressing.

[C3po]

I was at the Tatooine Crisis show in Mos Eisley monday night. There wasn't much hardcore dancing, but some Tusken Raiders kidnapped some kids because they wouldn't stay in the alley and kept wandering across the street.

[Trey]

I was at the Tatooine Crisis show in Mos Eisley monday night. There wasn't much hardcore dancing, but some Tusken Raiders kidnapped some kids because they wouldn't stay in the alley and kept wandering across the street.

How did I miss this? Maybe this year wouldn't have been so depressing if I had read this back in March. Fuck.